Romantics rejoice as divorce rates fall across the United States. However, the “happily ever after crowd” may be disappointed by the increase in the so-called “gray divorce.”
Why are more older couples divorcing, and what unique challenges do they face?
What is a gray divorce?
Gray divorce refers to couples 50 and older divorcing after perhaps decades of marriage. They typically coincide with significant life transitions, such as becoming empty nesters or retirement.
And it truly is a phenomenon. Divorce rates have doubled for people over 50 since 1990. In that same period, they’ve tripled for the 65-plus crowd. There are several factors driving this trend, but some common reasons include:
- People are living longer, healthier lives. They realize they still have decades ahead of them and don’t want to spend those years in an unfulfilling marriage.
- This age group was the first to truly embrace women working outside the home. With their own careers and savings, today’s women are financially independent and don’t need to stay in a marriage due to economics.
- After spending years raising children and building careers, empty nesters are finally able to reassess their lives and realize they’ve grown apart.
- Divorce is more socially acceptable than it was just a few decades ago.
But, older couples who are divorcing face challenges that younger couples may not. One major hurdle is the disruption gray divorce has on retirement plans. Having to split pensions, 401(k)s and IRAs can leave one or both parties struggling financially.
Many older individuals start having health issues as they age. It’s common for both spouses to be covered under one’s health insurance. One spouse may have difficulty getting coverage, especially with pre-existing conditions.
There is also the emotional toll of ending a marriage after several decades. A spouse who was fully invested in their marriage can lose their sense of identity and experience feelings of grief, failure and uncertainty. Still, while the thought of a gray divorce may feel overwhelming, it’s important to remember that you’re never too old for personal growth and making meaningful changes in your life.